writers block.
is it bad that im flailing at writing a blog about my thoughts and ideas? has it gotten to the point that i have no more thoughts or ideas? no.
smashing pumpkins. billy corrigan. bald head. thom wright. lifeguard station. the boyz. fun. excitement. joy.
what gives?? cold again. u havent frozen me. u have no control of me. i have control of me. i steer myself. u dont. go the fuck away. im tired of being happy then think of some bullshit reason that you upset me. fuck you. get outa my head. im tired of you. bye. gone. leave.
phew.
is laughing a defense mechanism? how do you act when shit hits the fan? when u cant control whats goin on around you? when things upset you? is laughing a way out? is forcing yourself to be happy truly mean youre happy?
or is smiling the same thing? when you see a pretty girl. what do you do when your eyes meet? smiling helps. i like smiling. and i like pretty girls. hmmm.
not so deep or literate today. but its word vomit. which way is forward? and how do i figure that out?
"they tell you to pray if you want to go to heaven. but they never tell you what to do when your whole lifes gone to hell."
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